Not Returning Empty-Handed

I say to God: I think every believer has at least one thing if not a few things that effects them in their life that causes them to look to you and pray to you for specific things as it pertains to them. For myself, I have 5 things that effect the way I look to God and pray to God as a man. Four I will list, one I will not (that remains between me and God). The title of this post is “Not Returning Empty-Handed.” As I was speaking to God this morning just before writing the below, I was thinking of one person in particular and how they have so impacted and influenced my life by their words and actions that many of my prayers have been shaped by them. When I return to seeing this person one day, I have prayed to God that He returns me to them not empty-handed but that what will be in my arms will be to the full and overflowing. As I thought about five particular things this person has said to me, I said to God, ‘possessing those things is not returning to them empty-handed.’ With that being said, I now invite you Into My HEART.

• I don’t know.

• I don’t want to be holding the flag alone.

• I’ve been working from when I was a child. I’m tired of working and being the provider. I want someone to provide for me now.

• Yelling scares me. 

I don’t know. These words have plagued me. They were my response to a particular someone too many times to count. Clearly such a response cannot suffice for someone else every time and yet, that was my response almost every time. Therefore, I desire to be a man who knows what to do and when to do it! A man of action; a man with a plan. A man that knows which way we are going and why. I know I cannot know everything and I will not know everything, but If I do know something and the words I don’t know come out of my mouth with less frequency that will bring peace to such a relationship.

I don’t want to be holding the flag alone. I have heard that phrase several times over the period of five years of my life. They impacted me more than I realized they would. So much so, I do not want the person who would say those words to me, to hold the flag alone anymore. I’m not sure if I ever asked what that meant to them, but if I were to take an educated guess. Those words have to do with standing for something in particular. History tells us, placing a flag down and standing under it, signifies claiming that place as your own usually for liberty sake and that you own up to the actions to which were made for the sake of liberty. Therefore, this person has a particular belief and they have taken a stance for it. One person alone cannot take over a place. They need help. They need backup. They need a partner. Peace cannot be achieved by the actions of one but the many working together doing there part properly.

I’ve been working from when I was a kid. I’m tired of working and being the provider. I want someone to provide for me now. I can recall hearing those words once in my life. If it was indeed once, once was all it took to impact my life. In hearing the person who said them to me, I knew them enough to know those words were not coming from a place of laziness but of exhaustion. This particular person told me this several years ago. They were in their mid-thirties and if memory serves me right, they had been working since they were 12 years of age. Not only working from an early age but caring for individuals and being the one most of the responsibility in the home fell to. The person I speak of was not one to complain or be lazy. They always did what was necessary. Always sacrificed their own personal time, welfare and at times happiness for the sake of others. They are just like that. They know not selfishness. In fact, I have never met anyone as selfless as they are nor have I since. In 2011, I was standing outside in front of my uncle’s driveway and I believe God did something quite amazing in me. He caused me to want to take care of this person. I said out of my mouth: Lord, I desire to provide for them. To be there to open doors for them. To be the one that now drives them around so they can rest and enjoy the ride. To be by their side always. I don’t want them to even have to pay a cent towards anything! Now, don’t get me wrong. I am not asking to be their slave. It’s not that at all. I simply want to be to them what they have been to everyone else all of their life. 

Yelling scares me. Now I want to catch you up on all of the above. Everything I have written so far has to do with one person and one person only. This person has so impacted my life by their words, that my personal prayers to God have been shaped by their words. Now I do not see that as a bad thing. I see that as a miraculous thing. A brief history of me. I have not been a selfless person all my life. I have not worked to care for others from an early age. I have not held job, attended a university and cared for the sick throughout my adolescence. They have. Therefore, when I say ‘this person has so impacted my life by their words, my personal prayers to God have been shaped by their words,’ and that ‘I do not see that as a bad thing. I see that as a miraculous thing,’ it comes from a place that only God could have reached, shaped, changed and by that also transform. 

Now getting back to, Yelling scares me. This person also expressed this to me. Both verbally and through her actions as I experienced it. To put it mildly and discreetly, they have had their share of experience with yelling and it impacted them profoundly. So much so, that any form of yelling sends tremors throughout their body. I remember being with this person one day and I had to return back into my house to get something that I forgot. At my house, upon entering the front door you are always met with loud noise in the form of dogs barking. Not one dog, but several! It is customary in my house to raise our voices to get the dogs to get quiet. Therefore, when I entered the front door and yelled loudly, ‘quiet!’ it was like that person was transported back in time to where they were bombarded by the yells of others. When I came back to their car they were uneasy to say the least. They explained the history of why they are frightened by yelling. What they shared and I experienced from their uneasy demeanor impacted me so much I began praying to God to be a man of peace and not of yelling.

It’s interesting who and what can influence and impact our lives. So much so, it actually cultivates a prayer life in us that we would neither have or known. Wouldn’t you agree? I for one am increasingly thankful to God for this very special person. They have indeed impacted and influenced my life to such great degrees that till this day even though they are not in my life, their words still shape my prayers to God.

I wonder how many others have met such a person that has so impacted and influenced their life in such a great way, that their prayers have been shaped by them. I would love to hear from others who have known such persons and how their lives and their prayer life has been changed for the better as a result.

As always...YOU ARE LOVED.



—F.A. Lugo
Written on: 10/30/18 at 12:08 p.m.
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