How sweet it was.
Now I look back and shake my head,
Oh what was I thinking of
~Flavio A. Lugo~
When I was young, I described myself as the energizer bunny. Remember those commercials... ‘He keeps going and going and going.’ My stamina and endurance seemed to have no end. Whether it be sports or sexual activity, I was never satisfied and always wanted more. With that said, I now invite you into my HEART...
Now many may boast in such words as I once did, and many may think that this is a great thing to have. But time had another perspective to show me. What was something I revered about myself— overtime became my demise.
I went from relationship to relationship. I found myself embracing those I should not had embraced. Embracing things, I should not had embraced. Hurting myself and others. Before I knew it, stamina and endurance weren’t on my mind anymore, but the emptiness I felt was what consumed me and utterly plagued me.
The Word of God years down the road would become a fresh source of life for me. I was weary and tattered from the life I lived or rather poorly lived and from the extraordinary amount of poor choices I had made.
Isaiah 40 breathes newness into the weary and tattered soul in that it declares, “Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” (Isaiah 40:30-31)
Today (being Wednesday July 24, 2013) as I read the above words in scripture and was inspired by God’s Word to write this, I was grateful to God to take in these words and really meditate in them.
Let me break down what they spoke to me in my age of 33 as I reflected on my youthful age of 16 through 20:
- Even youths grow tired and weary— I learned this the hard way. I as most teenagers thought I was indestructible. Not in the bodily sense but certainly towards my choice of actions, not worrying about the surmounting consequences; I learned the hard way.
- And young men stumble and fall— My poor decisions one after another found me in relationships I had no business being in and inviting people into my life that were of bad influence on my life, and let me not omit this fact... I was a poor influence on them as well! Eventually it lead me to make a commitment I certainly couldn’t keep and along the lines didn’t care to keep, and my life I built on a sand foundation came tumbling down when things got tough.
- but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength— July 3, 2009 came a day that certainly will go down in infamy. I was born again! This statement didn’t mean anything to me for many years and even when it took place it was still unfamiliar to me, but soon enough, the Lord made sure I knew what it meant. I had hope. And this hope was now in Him! I felt alive. I was alive. I had strength again. My weariness and tattered heart, mind, body and soul were renewed. This hope, this strength, this new life came through Jesus. I was born again in and through Him. He gave me life; His life. The greatest gift a man like myself with the terrible life I had lived could possibly receive— Jesus Himself! I was born again!
- They will soar on wings like eagles— I’ve heard people say that they are on a “spiritual high.” I knew what it was to be on a drug induced high. It may have been entertaining for a time, however it brought about something far greater than the hallucinogenic affects into my life... shame and guilt! This spiritual high was something I started to experience and didn’t want to come down from. I was soaring high above the shame and guilt of my past mistakes and I could see from my new perspective, the life in Christ I could have, and it was good!
- they will run and not grow weary— For much of my youth I was running and not getting very far. Running on a treadmill while backwards isn’t a good enough analogy, but rather like a hamster running on a wheel, I was getting no where fast! My past mistakes haunted me. I was filled with regret, guilt and shame. I lived multiple lives, because I lied in multiples everyday for many years. My life was a lie and I saw no way getting out of it, but that certainly didn’t stop the pain I was experiencing, of living as a liar. I was disgusted with myself. When Jesus came into my life. It was a profound awakening. It was greater than an awakening; it was a new life! Jesus Himself, breathed His life into me, and I started to live and there was no going back. Jesus became my everything and I started to live for Him. Not only was life moving forward, but I was running!
- They will walk and not be faint— it has been four years since my rebirth in Christ. It hasn’t been easy, but what is?! However, it has been worth it. The Lord is my Strength, my Savior and my God. There’s no turning back and no living with regret, shame or guilt anymore. With Jesus in my life, I will walk and not faint. Amen!
If you have read these words and see your life being similar to the life I once lived. I believe it’s a perfect opportunity to be honest with yourself and confess your need for Jesus. He too, can become your strength, your Savior and your God. He can give you the new life He gave me, and best of all, walk alongside you in it! Take this time to invite Him into your weary and tattered broken down life. It’ll be the best decision you will ever make... Guaranteed, and know this! I will be praying for you.