Abiding Is Marriage (11/27/17)

Let marriage be held in honor [esteemed worthy, precious, of great price, and especially dear] in all things.

(Hebrews 13:4)

Marriage is something that I have come to realize that I did not appreciate and hold in high esteem in times past. This I only came to understand through my many times over the years addressing with God what was important to God and must also become important to me, now being a theist and a Christ follower. I was once married. Bodily, it lasted for about a year and a half. Lawfully, it went on another year from that. I will say this, Christ saves but that does not remove hurt that has already been inflicted. I do know that despite the hurt, Christ can give strength to those who have been injured or have done the injuring, to walk in hope again regardless of past hurts we have experienced. But He alone has this perpetual reservoir, if I may, of power to strengthen us not to remain in a place of pain, injury and brokenness, but to arrive at a place of peace, joy, forgiveness and wholeness. With that said, I now invite you Into My Heart.


When I was initially inspired by God to write this it was preliminary what He had spoke to me. It is now October 4, 2018, close to a year from the time I initially began writing this. Therefore, the same God inspires me but the same frame of mind I am not in. So I am piecing together what was, with what is, to become what will be. It will be an amazing literary adventure. And here goes...It began with the two very poignant verses in scripture in which Jesus is speaking. He says:

I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. 

(John 15:5 NKJV)

‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined [or cleaved] to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined [or yoked] together, let not man separate. 

(Mark 10:7‭-‬9 NKJV emphasis added)

proskollaó

• Phonetic Spelling: (pros-kol-lah'-o) literally, “glue to another”) suggesting “a more permanent association, focusing upon reciprocal relations.”  

• Joined (cleaved): This word in the Greek carries huge implications. It conveys the imagery of what God brings together should actually be unable to be taken apart. Like a cementing of two things to now become one unified thing. As if to say, if what He brings together anyone seeks to separate it, the consequences will be grievous!

• I remember a time years ago I spoke with someone who was in a troubling spot in their marriage and was contemplating divorce. I painted a picture for them that was precisely what it looked like to separate what God had brought together. I told them, ‘have you ever seen a construction worker using a jackhammer to break up pieces of placed cement or pieces of asphalt?’ They said yes. I said, ‘that is exactly what divorce is like to marriage. It is a violent act!’ It is a breaking apart by force what was joined together to be one. What results of such a violent act are pieces that are no longer whole but varying in their size, shape and weight. To include the massive debris [and its extensive cleanup] and dust that takes a long time to settle and when it does it goes everywhere. That is the precise experience of divorce emotionally, physically, spiritually, relationaly and even at times financially.

• I know what it is to pick up pieces of broken up asphalt or cement. It’s not an enjoyable job. It’s painstaking, time consuming and back breaking work! It is impossible to escape further injury, such as cuts, scrapes, sprains and strained or pulled muscles. It leaves you filthy, weak, thirsty and hunger. In short, the effort needed to clean up a mess we have created is far more difficult than what it took for God to bring two things together.

suzeugnumi

• Phonetic Spelling: (sood-zyoog'-noo-mee) Jointly-yoked together by God in marriage for one unified purpose.  

• Joined (yoked): This word in the Greek carries huge implications. It conveys the imagery of when God joins two people together for one purpose. A yoke is something used in agricultural circumstances. When applied it brings two animals together to accomplish one common purpose; going in one common direction. Usually both animals are of the same kind (click here) but not necessarily the same strength (click here). 

• Yoked together was also a common verb used for marriage in ancient Greek. The same Greek word suzeugnumi is only used for marriage in the New Testament. Signifying the union of marriage between a husband and a wife, would live better for the Lord together, then either would do alone.

• Yoked together also creates a marvelous dynamic. The two Greek words that come together to form the one Greek word for yoked (or joined together), convey the statement, that being brought together creates identity. The identity in marriage is not of two but one. The individual identity and its own desires and passions (click here) are no more. In its place comes like a new birth, a new identity; a common purpose. It is found only in the union of marriage.

• Jesus through the above words recorded in John as well as in the Gospel of Mark, reveals something quite wonderful and to be held in honor. Within both Gospel writers recording the words of Jesus, a combined four times Jesus spoke of this one flesh union. In both places it refers to us and Christ [in which is Christ and His Church] and man and woman [God’s handiwork to reveal the mystery of Christ and His Church (click here)]. This further signifies that what God has brought together needs to held in the highest esteem among the sexes. Wow!

Abiding is marriage. What does this mean? What does the world show us and by such, tell us, that marriage is and is to be like? Marriage as it pertains to how this world demonstrates marriage, is something that isn’t quite whole and accurate in its depiction.

We see in many marriages that a man and a woman (when it actually is between one man and one woman) has to do with a dating and romantic relationship first. They date each other for an undetermined amount of time. Sex is a mutual expression of this love within this relationship. The next step is living with each other. An undetermined time in this stage is also present. Children may come into the picture and possibly marriage. If marriage occurs first or at the end, the picture is similar and not so distinct.

We further see in marriage as the world defines and determines it, a lavish ring of some kind and wedding is necessary, and usually at least to one in that new marriage, the wedding is the happiest day of their life. A house comes next. Personalizing that house is a pursuit that can last a lifetime. Holidays, special occasions, anniversaries, birthdays and more are focal points in the marriage. The marriage itself holds no sacred position, power or authority other than that of the emotional expressions throughout their married life. For instance, if an anniversary or birthday is forgotten, overlooked or not made much of, the sacredness of that marriage seems to have dissolved and the spouse in question for forgetting or making light of such a specific day, has proven by such to not care or love the person or hold sacred the vows they said “I do” to.

However, God is not placing distinction on these so-called holidays, special occasions, anniversaries and birthdays. He is placing distinction on the marriage between the one man and one woman. This distinction is a sacred one. That has nothing to do with dating, sex, rings,weddings, houses, cars, children and what will be celebrated. The man and woman who is married, becomes transformed into a whole new identity. Where it is no longer two but one. There is something quite fascinating about that. This ‘no longer two but one flesh’ union. When we isolate marriage into this exclusively distinct form for which God has so designed marriage, we discover that God made marriage to be something more than we have given ourselves opportunity to know, experience and live by.

When we observe marriages and we see the lack of this ‘no longer two but one flesh’ union, we can but cautiously determine that within this marriage, God is either not the center of it or they have yet to give sway to God being the center of their life; their whole life.

I say cautiously because I am but a man and can never perceive the thoughts and intents of all flesh. However, I do believe all things are possible with God and as it pertains to marriage, and more specific, abiding in marriage. If we are to see such a day when we will actually abide in marriage, the only way this will come is when the sacredness, the power, the authority, God has so placed upon this ‘no longer two but one flesh’ union, is revered among men and women and everything else pales in comparison.

When all the celebratory experiences become meaningless apart from the experience of what God has designed marriage for, that is when marriages will once again be held in honor, the marriage bed is held sacred and undefiled, the union of ‘no longer two but one flesh’ will once again become authoritative, revealing to the world that this ‘no longer two but one flesh’ union is the power that will demonstrate the glory and praise of God before many.

I for one choose the sacredness; the sanctity, that is the Lord God of heaven and earth. All else pales in comparison to me, and for this reason, I am confident that marriage being held in honor, will be sacred, authoritative and powerful in my life and more importantly in the life of my wife and I. For we will not know division, for God is one. We will know, ‘no longer two but one flesh.’ Amen.


I am grateful to no end for the words spoken by Jesus, made known from the beginning, and that continues to carry through to this day: For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.





—F.A. Lugo
Started: 11/27/17
Updated and Finished: 10/4/18
Thank You Lord!