I pray to you, O Lord, my rock. Do not turn a deaf ear to me. For if you are silent, I might as well give up and die.
(Psalms 28:1 NLT)
Beloved, it’s 2:26am on May 2, 2015. As I read in the 28th Psalm David wrote, the first verse caught my attention. I have experienced this myself! “For if you are silent, I might as well give up and die.” Those words are a view into my past. A past that took place towards the end of 2011 heading into 2012 and lasting upwards to 60 days into that new year if not longer than those 60.
I became a man most miserable. I remember it was the most difficult time in my life, not because of opposition but because His voice was unheard. It started with a packing up of my Bible. Then I stopped praying. Then I stopped hearing His voice altogether. I was like a man who had never had hearing or sight. A man whose very heart was no longer in tune to Life Himself. I did not understand why I was in the “Greatest Struggle” of my life! His Voice I could no longer hear. With that said, I now invite you Into My HEART...
This I know, when the voice of the Lord leaves this earth, all manner of catastrophe and death takes place. Men who were once kind at heart become over time hard and cold. Anger sets in, going your own way and doing what you think is right in your own sight is the anthem you live by. Darkness overtakes the land. Sexual immortality has its day. Sorrow is heard everywhere. Salvation becomes a myth and the woes of the just are so unbearable they ‘give up and die.’
I personally experienced all this. I shut everyone out. Sin had overtaken me again. But behold, like light breaking forth in the darkness and the dawn of a new day begins, so was hope on the rising, and a voice in opposition of sin and darkness being heard. This voice came in the form of a woman who knew me. A woman who cared for me. A woman of God who loved me. One who knew this Jesus I could no longer hear. She prayed for me. She reached out to me. She drew near to me.
Eventually her loving kindness won me over and even though with reluctance I heard her prayers for me and with even more reluctance I prayed for myself as she listened, a day would come that was life in my bones again! The Voice I had rejoiced in from July 3, 2009 to that day in infamy, when it went silent was coming back! I cried out to Him again and confessed my sin and great need of Him. He lovingly and graciously responded (Selah).
The word Selah is quite the wonderful expression in Hebraic song writing in the form of psalms. In simple terms, it means, you take a contemplative pause, because the song; the Psalm; the expression from the depths of your soul and heart have been overcome by God’s great love, mercy, compassion, tenderness and generosity.
At first I wasn’t sure if it was Him after not hearing Him for months. Like a death man who hears for the very first time, making out sounds and assimilating them, so was I trying to make sense of this “new thing,” this most wonderful thing—the Voice of the Lord!
His voice returns the first time and I hear, “Honest.” So I must repeat by way of question as it is all so new to me again, and I say to make sure I heard what I heard: “Honest?” The voice again says, “Be honest.” Once again like static coming into play and sound forms words that form sentences and creates speech, I hear with distortion, so I respond, “Be honest?” The third time was the last time it would need to be spoken in order for me to hear Him clearly. His voice came to me with direction. Light and life I knew all over again. He spoke and I heard ever so clearly now as I heard Him without distortion or struggle, but with joy and gladness and newness of heart! His last direction: “Be honest with me, with others and with yourself.”
From that day on, it was the greatest of times again. I could hear my Lord and my God again. I was like a child born; like a son reborn. I rejoiced in Him. He was and is and always shall be my life!
And so I join my fellow brother in the Lord, David, when he exclaims the sentiment of those who know the joys of hearing the Voice of Life; the Voice of Truth, the glorious Voice of the Lord: “Praise the Lord! For he has heard my cry for mercy. The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving” (Psalms 28:6-7 NLT).
Praise the Lord forever and ever. Amen.
I shall now give thanks to the Lord for His mercy and compassion upon me in the form of Mishel Estrada. O Lord, you who are always near to the broken and afflicted. You who hear the cries of those who are in mourning. You who rescue the weak whose strength melts like max within them. You alone are my Rock and my Redeemer in whom I trust. Your grace overflows greater, longer and more mightier than all the rivers and seas combined. You are most generous to the sinner. You are more patient than all the mother’s of the earth combined! Your love is without measure, without boundary, knowing no limit! How precious is your Voice to all for it fills the earth with praise and also with life! Your voice is the Voice of Truth and truly as the Lord lives, no one shall stand in opposition of it and be triumphant or live. But you O Lord, heard me, yes you heard my cry. You heard the confession of a wretched man, filled with grief, torment and without hope, and yet Hope you are! Salvation is your name. Peace is with you all of your days and like lightning in the East and appearing in the West, you have that much more quicker, come to my rescue. O Lord, no man could ever repay you and behold, you seek no repayment. You seek a heart that is broken. You seek a spirit that is contrite. You take delight in saving those who deserve to be unsaved. You rejoice in your right hand that leads everyone to safety and mighty is this Right Hand! Yes, you send your angels from on high and they deliver a message from the Holy One. They pronounce your judgements. They act in holiness and they draw near to the hurting and say, “Do not be afraid.” I thank you for you are Light and all your children are of your light. Thank you that you did not relent on your servant in his great need. For when his spirit wanted to give up and die, even before that, behold, you dispatched one of your servants. A daughter of the High King. A soothing voice to quenched the flames of agony within me. She prayed, she listened, she cried, she interceded. She loved me with your love. She spoke with your Word. She was your mercy, compassion, patience and grace. She did as you told her to. She delivered the message that was within your heart for me, your servant. Oh how I rejoice in her now more than before. How I delight in her obedience for surely you made a way. I am filled with thanksgiving even now, for she hearing your voice shared it with me! Oh praise you my Lord and my Rock and Redeemer for sending a daughter and not a stranger. For sending a servant and not an enemy. For sending your affection and winning this soul over. You alone Father are to be praised. You alone my God are to be worshiped. Blessed are all your faithful messengers and I say, blessed them and blessed them over again. Blessed are all your angels and I say, blessed them and bless them over again. Blessed are all your children, and I say, bless them and blessed them over and over again. Blessed is Mishel your faithful daughter, bless her and with many blessings, bless her over again! And may you the Blessed One, for with blessing you are blessed, higher and more exceeding than all, be glory, majesty, honor, power and praise forever and ever. Amen.