Beloved, as I was speaking to the Lord and thanking Him for how good and faithful He is, I said to Him, “I am certain you are forming me in utter seclusion and at the appointed time I will emerge into the world and be that powerful witness and testimony of your great love.” With those beautiful words spoken to my Lord and my God, I now invite you Into My HEART...
When I said “forming me in utter seclusion” I was already thinking of the verse below. I then said to the Lord my God by inspiration of the Spirit, “There are two births. One from below and one from above. One of this earth and one of heaven. One of the flesh and one of the Spirit. Yet, there is also two processes to these births. Both are formed in utter seclusion, then there is a presentation, then there is a raising up.”
I then said to the Lord my God in whom gave me life and formed me in the utter darkness and mystery of the womb: “You are doing this same process with me now. In utter seclusion you formed me. In the darkness of that upper room in which was the womb. My mother was unaware. Those who lived in the house were unaware. Those of my past were unaware. Those to be in my future were unaware. Those in my present were unaware. From night till day you formed me and on that new day, you delivered me by your own hands. On that day, I was presented to a new world; the world of above and your heavenly host were present. Like a joyful new father gathered with his confidants, so were You with all your holy angels at my new birth. And my first words were, “my Lord” and now you raise me.”
I believe soon, though in utter seclusion the Lord raises me, a day shall come and I believe soon, my Father and God will send me out into the world, like a child having reached his maturity to begin his work, that is, at his full strength.
You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. (Psalms 139:15-16 NLT emphasis added)
But thou art he that took me out of the womb: thou didst make me hope when I was upon my mother’s breasts. (Psalms 22:9 KJV emphasis added)
- “thou didst make me hope” is literally “made me secure.” This is the security all newborns know as it were from the womb. For what reasoning does a newborn have? What training have they received to know immediately to suckle at their mother’s breast? A place where there is glorious milk pact with everything they need and moreover, within the first bonding of a child to its mother, that first suckling has the antibodies and all the essential nutrients needed called colostrum or “liquid gold.” This helps to fend off disease from this new world they’re exposed to.
- “You formed me with your hands; you made me..” (Job 10:8 emphasis added)
- ‘you deliver me from my mother’s womb..’ (Job 10:18 emphasis added)
God Himself acting like the Midwife of midwives, is the very One who leads a child to embrace their mother, her breast and the milk that will quicken this child to glorious health! Halleluyah!
“But even before I was born, God chose me and called me by his marvelous grace.”
Beloved, the circumstances of every child’s birth is a miraculous one. It may not be surrounded by what we would deem a miracle, nonetheless, it is miraculous. For out of many, one is chosen. Out of darkness life is made known. There is a growing and a forming. There is pain and yet, behold, a new thing emerges out of the deep. A child is born. In my case, a son is given. I rejoice in my birth more and more. I was a product of conception out of wedlock. I was born to a mother who was 16 years of age. I knew not my earthly father till I was 27 years of age. My mother for good reason choose to do life with me and not to include my father. Lord knows what would have been the result of having him in my life.
By her own admission, my mother enjoyed very much my dad’s company. She said he was fun to be around and made her laugh. However, two things came about that forever sealed my fate as a fatherless child. My mother said she was hugging my dad one day and when they let go of each other and she looked at his face she saw what resembled a face of a monster. She scream and started to rub away. From that day forward she made the decision she could not remain with him and he could not be in my life. What was the cause of such an image to be made known? What could have provoked such an outcome of events? I do not know and I would like to speculate it was the Lord who was protecting my mother and that child in her womb.
As I mentioned above. The circumstances of every child’s birth is a miraculous one. My birth was foretold and not in the manner of the Child King Jesus. I am not worthy to even be mention in such a light, yet I would be remiss if I did not state the facts. My birth was foretold. My mother having become pregnant at the age of fifteen did not know she was pregnant at the time. My grandmother, her mother, equally was unaware of her daughter’s pregnancy. yet this would change. My grandmother from what I am told of her youth and what I remember in her older age, in my childhood memories of our times together, was an independent woman. She practically did everything on her own. On one of her outings to shop for household things in New York, where I was born, a man approached her and told her that, the child her daughter has in her now, has a strong light around him. Both good and evil will be attracted to him, he said.
From my mother’s own testimony and witness, she experienced two very extraordinary events in her life before I was born that further made my birth and the foretelling of it miraculous. She had a dream and in the dream she saw the child she was to give birth to. She saw a boy and she saw all his features. Later on, she and her mother, Gloria, my grandmother, were sitting in what I believe was the living room and my grandmother was a woman who dealt in things that were not as I would say now, not gaining the approval of God. She was a tarot card reader. My mother tells me, that for so long, she wanted her mother to read her cards yet my grandmother was adamant to not do so. Why? I do not know. What I do know and I am told, is that, eventually my mother’s persistence wore my grandmother down and she relented and was going to read her cards. As they sat at the table, my mother’s back to her room and the room where I would be kept in, and my grandmother facing those rooms, them being alone in the house, something occurred that would shock my grandmother and once again make the foretelling of my birth a reality. Out comes a child from where I would be kept as a baby, and this male child, walked over to my mother’s side, got up on her lap and sat down looking at her. My grandmother witnessing all this was in shock and speechless I’m told.
My mother seeing her shock, asks her what’s wrong? My grandmother eventually described to her what happened and what she saw and described the boy to my mother and her apt description was exactly as my mother saw beforehand in her dream. My grandmother never read her cards.
- My mother told me one day, I think it was sometime in 2011, on our way back home, that “I was born for God.” This statement is not without its merit and basis of fact. One, I was already in Christ going on two years. The changes in me and through me were evident to my mother. I have always been a son to be by my mother’s side as it is said of me, that I am a “mama’s boy.” Whether that be true or not, the fact remains, that I have been living with my mother for most of my life till present moment. She has seen my ups and downs. She has experienced my mood swings, my anger, my fits of rage and my many struggles and failed relationships. She has known me to be drunk and high. She knew I bought and sold drugs. She has reprimanded me, sought to discipline me and equally protect and provide for me the best that she could. My mother is an awesome mother by those standards. Now in living with my mother for so long, this placed my mother in the unique and privileged position, however troubling and trying it may have been on her, to see my transformation from darkness into God’s marvelous light and the ongoing process of the Lord making me holy for His name’s sake.
- Two: Now already being born, I was still in my mother’s room being still very young and I was kept in a bassinet by the side of my mother’s bed or at the foot of it. She tell me that she and I were in her room alone and suddenly without any warning, something or someone threw her on the bed and pinned her down and began saying, “I’m going to take your baby.” She tried to fight whatever this thing or person was. She cursed at it. She was angry with it. Yet with all she did, she could not break free from its grip. Eventually from what I am told, whatever had her pinned down let go and left. She immediately went to me, where I was at peace and still in my bassinet without a sign of having been disturbed by what all had just taken placed.
- Three: I was now one years of age and from a timeline stand point the above must’ve been still fresh in my mother’s memory. On that fateful night a fire would burned our home completely making it unlivable. The house was filled with my family. My young mother, her mother, and two of my mother’s siblings; my uncle Thomas called “Pico” due to his stature and my aunt Magali (the Christian in the family). My aunt Magali kept saying that the baby is burning up and should be taken to the hospital. I was felt, there was no fever. Clearly my aunt was mistaken. She kept saying that I was burning up and had fever but to no avail. My mother had plans to go to a club with her sister-in-law Yvonne. Although, from what I am told, my mother eventually was not at ease to go out, Yvonne persuaded her to go and she went. That night a fire broke out through the walls due to wiring and my room was one of the rooms that had badly burned. My aunt the Christian had taken me to the hospital regardless of everyone thinking she was mistaken and my uncle a young boy himself, was sent to get my mother at this nightclub.
The circumstances of my birth and the foretelling of my birth certainly stand out and more so to me! Everything that transpired in those early moments in my life were now the basis for my eagerness to remain with the Lord, for He has shown me, that from the womb and even before then, He was drawing me onto Himself, that I would live for Him and know, personally, intimately and powerfully, the One who brought me into this world and breathed His life into me and in Christ, gave me a new heart and His Spirit. The events of my youth and the many events succeeding my miraculous birth till present moment even to the typing if this post is adequate evidence that Jesus is Lord and that He God, is the One in whom knows us more thoroughly and completely than any human being could ever know us as He is the very One who is the Maker of heaven and earth and all of its fullness. Amen.
I am absolutely certain and thoroughly persuaded that I was born for God.
To be for Him. To be a son to Him. To live and have life by Him.
To serve Him and reveal Him and all His wonderfully good ways.
“Then it pleased him to reveal his Son to me so that I would proclaim the Good News about Jesus to the Gentiles. When this happened, I did not rush out to consult with any human being. Nor did I go up to Jerusalem to consult with those who were apostles before I was. Instead, I went away into Arabia, and later I returned to the city of Damascus. Then three years later I went to Jerusalem to get to know Peter, and I stayed with him for fifteen days. The only other apostle I met at that time was James, the Lord’s brother. I declare before God that what I am writing to you is not a lie” (Galatians 1:16-20).
When I came to Christ or a much more apt description would be, when He the Lord Jesus Christ called out to me, everything changed for me. What I was once consumed by would automatically change. Literally from night-to-day, or rather, within an instant and immediately, Jesus would become Lord. I would come to know the God of heaven and earth personally, intimately and powerfully. He would reveal Himself to me and teach me of His ways. He lead me to pray, to seek Him out, to confess my sins and to rejoice in Him. Truly, all that took place within the first three to four months from July 3, 2009 would be the ground work for the rest of my life. I did not go to church or hang around Christians or consult anyone concerning this Jesus I came to know in a most wonderfully peculiar way. What I did do, was spend practically every waking minute and apparently many moments while I was asleep with Him. He became my everything and I could not get enough of Him. This is a trustworthy saying: To know Jesus is to want to know Him more.
Those three to four months I personally spent with Jesus were literally the consuming of the colostrum. To take in Jesus and have holy intimacy with Him is to consume liquid gold!
Jesus answered, “Most assuredly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God. That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. Do not marvel that I said to you, ‘You must be born again.’ The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear the sound of it, but cannot tell where it comes from and where it goes. So is everyone who is born of the Spirit.” (John 3:5-8 emphasis added)
On July 3, 2009 I received the Holy Spirit. This is no fairy tale and I was no aware of this at first nor until a few months later. The Holy Spirit in which is God, for God is Spirit and He is also Holy, was given to me as a gift. That is what I was told and that is what I knew and that is what I received. Jesus who also did not reveal His name to me until a short while later, did in fact speak to me out my darkness. A darkness that I came to express and know as the darkest of darkness; the blackest of black. On that fateful night, I had been separated from my then wife for three months. I was in terrible pain, not so much from the separation, but of the man I was. I was angry and filled with the torment and suffering of regret, guilt and shame. I knew no peace. Peace and I were not friends nor of any relation. What I did know was doom and despair. I hated everything including myself! I lived and walked in darkness. Light escaped me. Love was nowhere to be found. I suffered insomnia and if anything it was my companion and a faithful companion at that as it would not leave me alone. I drank whole bottles of NyQuil to sleep before they became a sleep aid. It lead to my blood pressure skyrocketing and eventually that didn’t work. On July 3, 2009 after crying my self to sleep for the umpteenth time, I could no longer take my brokenness. I cried out to God and to help me because I couldn’t take it anymore! He answered.
God drew near to me, called out to me and gave me a Gift that no one could take away.
On that day having been born of the flesh and arriving at 29 years of age, I through His grace and mighty power was born again from above; I was now born of the Spirit. Halleluyah!
Then will I sprinkle clean water upon you, and you shall be clean from all your uncleanness; and from all your idols will I cleanse you. A new heart will I give you and a new spirit will I put within you, and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you shall heed My ordinances and do them. (Ezekiel 36:25-27 AMP emphasis added)
On July 3, 2009 after God spoke into me, He spoke over me. He said, I come to you with a Gift. A gift that no one can take away. When you lay your head down and rise again, everything will be different.
Anyone who will acquaint themselves with Jesus will come to know the Holy Spirit quickly. Jesus spoke of Him often and those around Him experienced the Holy Spirit all the time. As I mentioned earlier. I was a fatherless child, yet I would come to rejoice in my Father in heaven. He was the One who sent Jesus; His only Son in whom He is well pleased with and through His Son’s obedience and our belief in His Son, He sent the Holy Spirit to be with the believers in the Lord, so that we could know Jesus in a real and tangible way. This post wasn’t about teaching you scripture or even posting many scriptures revealing the Holy Spirit. It’s a post that invites you into my heart. It’s a post that shows you that all things are possible with God. It’s a post that can cause you to believe in Jesus as Lord and it’s a post that is prayed over. The prayer is that you would come to know God in a personal, intimate and powerful way and that happens when you come to know Jesus who is the Son of God.
I shall end as I began. I thank God that you are able to enter into my heart and know this! When you have entered into my heart you have entered into His heart, for He has given me a new heart and a new spirit and they both equally come from Him and He always gives graciously and generously of Himself. As it has been with me and Jesus, I pray now, that it may be so with you. Amen.
As always...YOU ARE LOVED.