|Positive vs. Negative...which one are you?|
Good morning beloved. Yesterday was my 32nd birthday as I mentioned in yesterday's post (click HERE TO READ POST.) Well, I'm thankful to share with you all that the Lord gave me an amazing birthday. Filled with so much love, laughter and ROLLED TACOS..YUM!
Early in the afternoon prior to my birthday dinner kick off I was talking with my cousin (Elizabeth Lopez) about the differences of being encouraged and being forced to do something. In life I have noticed when it comes to relationships as all things are relational, you have positive and negative reinforcement. One encourages and the other forces you. Somewhere along the line there's a break down between the one who is applying the reinforcement and the one who is being reinforced.
There's a way to get a message of encouragement across to someone without forcing them to do it. There's a difference between telling someone to "Repent for the kingdom of heaven is near" through the example you set that positively reinforces that message and the lack of example you set that causes that message to fade away- in one ear and out the other. You can only reinforce what you yourself do.
Now in saying this, there comes a time where "tough love" needs to be enforced and this also is by the example you yourself lead out in. You must be a leader in what you think, say and do. Otherwise you fall in everything. As author and leadership speaker John C. Maxwell says, "Everything rises and falls on leadership." He is right! You cannot affect change in anyone's life until you yourself have changed. And that is leading by example. What you put out there is what you live out daily. Don't get me wrong. All leaders have their moments of failure, but it's not something that is consistent and not learned from. That's the key to effective leadership...Positive Reinforcement. You model it, you commit to it, you're consistent with it and although failure may come you don't step back in defeat but press on towards the goal. Any leader will tell you that it's not in the amount of failures that your leadership incurs but the amount of successes despite those failures that makes all the difference.
I myself am learning these principles, and as my Pastor Troy Gramling shared to a room filled with over 1700 men during the 2012 Men's Conference (V.I.P.) at Potential Church (see HERE), "Even if it wasn't modeled for you, doesn't mean YOU can't model it." Amen. We have all experienced the pain of not having others in our lives to lead us and encourage us through positive reinforcement, but that doesn't mean we can't decide to model it for others. I myself never had a dad to teach me to be a man, a father, a husband and a leader, but I look to the example Jesus models to perfection in the Word of God to help me and build me to be the man I'm called and created to be then I can model it for others who experienced not having a dad either.
This blog post is absolutely a blessing from God, and this I have had the great pleasure, privilege and honor to witness and model myself. God will use anyone to speak His message through, and if we are humble enough to receive the message despite age, background or gender we will be all the more blessed by it. With that being said I thank God for the brief conversation I had yesterday with my cousin Elizabeth. God inspired me through it and because of it, the treasury of my heart has grown. Thank you Jesus.
In closing there are two verses in scripture that I want to share with you that will increase the treasury of your heart. They speak to leadership and the humble manner in which you should lead your people. The first one is by the Lord Jesus Himself.
So Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers in this world lord it over their people, and officials flaunt their authority over those under them. But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must be the slave of everyone else. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Mark 10:42-45 NLT emphasis added)
Whenever you speak to someone in order to influence them, let the reinforcement given be positive and not negative, then the individual(s) set before you will not only grow and become stronger. They will become leaders through your example that you yourself consistently model. Why is this important to seek to do always? Then the individual(s) will carry in their heart an image of them self that will cast a leadership shadow everywhere they go. No one desires to feel bad about themselves but rather feeling great and walking tall. “As a man thinks in his heart that he is.” (Proverbs 23:7)
Beloved, I pray these words will sharpen and grow you as they sharpen and grow me. It's my prayer that through effective communication we will experience record breaking growth in our lives and in all our leadership endeavors.
As always...YOU ARE LOVED.