Thursday, January 16, 2014

What makes me know I am loved

Beloved, the words I write here today, come out of a great struggle, that has finally seen the light of day through a passionate plea; a confession to the Lord, about how I am afraid of something that has the potential to be so beautiful. As I have known it to be, through confession comes breakthrough and transformation that leads to victory. With that being said, I now invite you into my HEART...

“And when they confessed their sins, he baptized them in the Jordan River.”
(Matthew 3:6)

Beloved, It’s been my practice now for some time that I would bow my head and pray to the Lord to “hit a gran slam out of the park” with what I was inspired to write, and that it would be “from His heart, to my heart, to all the precious hearts all over the world” that are in need of such a word. As I prayed that prayer again today, the above verse in scripture was brought to my remembrance (John 14:26) in order to tie in the above words that invited you in. How I pray, the ears, eyes, minds, hearts and souls of the intended audience will not miss this. Amen.

Today I wanted to take you into the heart of God as well as my own, by sharing with you a great struggle of mine. In this confession, it’s my prayer, many will experience the love of Jesus like never before. As I woke up today, I was with a heavy heart. My struggle was in needing to be loved a specific way and not receiving such love. Now, there are many ways to love someone, however, there are key ways that speak love like nothing else can to every individual. Now as I confessed this out to God, it was extremely tough to mention it to Him, but with tears, shame and trembling, I confessed out my struggle to Jesus. I told Him these exact words, “I am afraid to commit to this person in marriage unless they love me as I must be loved.” Then after much words being exchanged, I also confessed this out to Him, “I cannot commit to them unless they love me this way.” Though these words may seem harsh I assure you they are not. Though these words are hard to say and equally hard to hear, they must be said and they must be heard.

I admit, many times I express my words easier on the pages of this blog, or on the many social media platforms I minister to others on, rather than in person. Regardless, I believe it’s healthy to get the words out which ever way they come out, and to make sure the intended audience receives the blessing of it.

Now for all of this to start making sense, I will let you in on something if you haven’t already guessed it. I am most loved by words. Words to me are the structure; the building blocks to action. that takes me to this great revelation I came to understand today (being January 15, 2014). God is most loved by our words creating action behind them, and let me show you how I know this. The below expresses the heart of God like no other way I can sum up:

Jesus Speaking here

  • “If you love Me, keep My commandments.” (John 14:15 NKJV)
  • And He who sent Me is with Me. The Father has not left Me alone, for I always do those things that please Him.” (John 8:29 NKJV)
  • “But why do you call Me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do the things which I say? Whoever comes to Me, and hears My sayings and does them, I will show you whom he is like: He is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock. And when the flood arose, the stream beat vehemently against that house, and could not shake it, for it was founded on the rock. But he who heard and did nothing is like a man who built a house on the earth without a foundation, against which the stream beat vehemently; and immediately it fell. And the ruin of that house was great.” (Luke 6:46-49 NKJV emphasis added by me)

Summed up nicely

“To love God is to do what He commands 
(1 John 5:3 paraphrased by me)

By the above, we can see that words are most affirming to God when they are followed by action. You cannot tell someone you love them and yet do not love them. Everyone is loved a specific way, and in order to love others correctly, we must be willing to love them as they feel most loved, otherwise, we are not loving them at all.

In Romans 2:13, the apostle Paul sums it up for us again, in that he says, “For merely listening to the law doesn’t make us right with God. It is obeying the law that makes us right in his sight.” Jesus uttered those words as well as He quoted from (Deuteronomy 8:3), in that He declared, “It is written, ‘man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.’” It is certainly possible for everyone to gather from the above, that God isn’t so much concerned with what we are merely saying but rather what we are doing, and Jesus made that clear when He quoted from (Deuteronomy 10:20), when He declared, You shall worship the Lord your God, and Him only you shall serve.’” 

If you notice both the above in red as well as the apostle Paul’s words that are absolutely in agreement with God’s glorious Word, reveal the heart of love, and that is always seen in ACTION!

This brings me back to my heart and how I am loved. I am loved by words of affirmation, however, these affirming words, aren’t your typical compliments of (i.e. your so nice, you did a good job, you’re a good man). The words that affirm me are the actions of love. let me explain. I am a man who desires for his future spouse to carry herself; her body as one who is physically fit. They’re many reasons for this, but I will speak to one many men share in common: we desire to be attracted to what we visually see. Now, the level of physical fitness may vary from man-to-man, and it in no way undermines the fact they may already be attracted to this woman even with them not having or attaining yet this ideal look, yet if they are desiring this and they feel most loved by this, it is sure, they will not feel most loved, if the woman they are with or to marry, will not seek to love them in this way by her actions.

Words are very powerful. They have the extraordinary ability to produce life or death within us! Such can be said, if someone tells you that they love you and aren’t willing to show it, they do not actually love you. Now, once again, this may seem harsh, but let me further explain. Jesus wasn’t merely concerned with those who called out to Him by acknowledging Him as, “Lord, Lord.” He was concerned and captivated by those who did as He said. You could clarify His words up (John 14:15) in this simple sentence: “I am most loved when you love me as I say I am most loved.” This is certainly true of Jesus as well as myself. I am certainly willing to share and educate the woman I am with, how to love me, if she is willing to learn and apply it—This is humility at its finest.

May we all be blessed to be sensitive to the hints that are being left for us to know how to love one another.

Be mindful of your words, they have the ability to bring someone alive 
or start to kill them little by little. The route you choose will be the reward you receive.”

Caring words breathe life. Hurtful words produce death.

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” 
(Proverbs 18:21)

For instance, if a woman says she is most loved by hugs and kisses, and she brings it to the attention of the man she is in a relationship with, that he is not initiating hugs and kisses, but it is up to her to do this, this man is not loving her the right way. Now, if this woman brings it to his attention, that she desires for him to initiate more, and hugs are like therapy to her, and she in a sense gets energy from tight hugs and loves spontaneous kisses, if the man takes that into consideration and by the knowledge she shares with him on how she is most loved, he now understands how to best love her, in his consistent actions towards her in loving her the right way, she will once again feel loved, and will actually respond to him with a filled tank of love. If this man after receiving such knowledge and gaining such understanding decides not to love this woman that way, and goes another route, like giving her flowers or buying her things, etc... he is not only failing to love her as she is most loved, he has completely undermined her feelings, vulnerability and this woman will feel unloved and her love tank will completely be on empty and nothing good can come out of this!

Not heeding each others words leads
to forceful communication

Heeding each others words
brings connection
Now, on the other hand, if a man says he is most loved by words of affirmation, and there is no better way to affirm him then for the woman he is in a relationship with, to do as he is asking of her, and she chooses not to do so, she is in fact not loving him. There are many reasons why we won’t do something, but there is only one way to do it...that’s by doing it. Now if this man has taken the time, has been open and honest with what makes him feel most loved, and the woman he is in a relationship with, chooses not to love him the way he feel most loved, she is not only failing to love him as he is most loved, she has completely undermined his feelings, vulnerability and this man will feel unloved and his love tank will completely be on empty and nothing good can come out of this!

The simple fact is this: By the words that Jesus was saying, the things He was teaching us, and the example He set on how to love God and others, if we choose not to do so (regardless of excuses and/or plausible reasons), if we do not love others as they most need to be loved and how they most receive love, then we are not loving them at our fullest capability.

The Love Languages

Receiving Gifts
Words of Affirmation
Acts of Service
Physical Touch
Quality Time

For myself, it’s quite simple. If I love my woman as she is most loved, then all is good. If I choose not to love her as she is most loved, all is not good. Candidly speaking, such conversations are never easy to have and the words that come out of them are even harder to hear, but they are NECESSARY. For Christ’s sake, may we love each other as we most feel loved and truly begin to reap the benefits of such intimate relationships that bring honor and glory to God. Amen.

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